Preparing to Care for Aging Loved Ones

Posted on Tuesday, April 24th, 2012 at 10:39 am and filed under Caregiving, Caregiving Support, Family Caregiving

There are many joys families experience within the relationships they have with senior relatives. Grandma and Grandpa are often able to tell the best tales of times past. The memories they impart during family get-togethers, along with valuable family history seniors recount, become the ties that bind many families together. Our elder ancestors are the very roots that strengthen each relative’s sense of place, comfort and knowledge of how they came to be in this world.

Along with the joys seniors bring to our lives come hard decisions that may eventually need to be made regarding their ability to live alone. Some seniors suffer mental or physical limitations that make it difficult for them to safely care for themselves. In these instances, family members find themselves in the position of deciding who can provide the best care for their loved ones. Typically, this decision-making process – from recognition to solution – can take approximately a year and a half. Usually a female family member such as a daughter or granddaughter is the one who makes the final decision of care.  In families where there is no daughter, this role often falls on the shoulders of the oldest son’s wife (the daughter-in-law).

There are two types of caregiving scenarios to consider – choosing a willing family member to provide care or hiring a home care company to deliver caregiving services for seniors. Deciding to become a family caregiver can be an incredibly rewarding experience. Family caregivers often find their relationships with their senior loved ones enriched and satisfying beyond words. It feels good to give the gift of time. Even so, becoming a family caregiver can have a negative impact in some ways, as well. Many family caregivers experience financial difficulties by either having to miss work to care for their loved one or by supporting two households. Family caregivers also become susceptible to suffering depression due to the physical and emotional impact caregiving for a family member can have. Careful consideration of all parties involved should be taken before a family member takes on a caregiving role.

An alternative to family caregiving is to hire a professional and experienced agency to provide care and support. Comfort Keepers® is one such home care agency that focuses on  serving the senior population. Comfort Keepers perform duties ranging from occasional housekeeping to daily companionship for seniors who need close monitoring.

Comfort Keepers is an expert in helping families make these crucial decisions. As a leader in the home care industry, the company has devised a list of critical questions for families to ask when interviewing caregiving companies. That list can be found here: http://www.comfortkeepers.com/information-center/news-and-highlights/in-home-care-for-mom-and-dad. Choosing a company that best fits a loved one’s needs and facilitates a safe environment for a senior in his or her own home is essential for success.

Comfort Keepers conducted extensive research among families and other home care resources to determine the best way to broach caregiving with a senior loved one. Simply initiating the topic can cause tension and unease. This decision can inspire guilt for the person making the decision as well as resentment from the senior who needs care. Visit http://www.comfortkeepers.com/family-education-center/starting-the-conversation to find ideas that help families understand the core issues surrounding caregiving. This article also gives helpful insight as to how to discuss the matter without hurting feelings or making a senior feel uncomfortable.

 In any event, deciding a loved one needs additional care can be a daunting experience. Deciding who can best care for a senior loved one is a very important decision. The end result should make everyone happy and provide peace of mind for all involved.

 




Caregiver Depression…It Could Happen to You

Posted on Tuesday, November 15th, 2011 at 2:56 pm and filed under Caregiving Support, Family Caregiving

More than 65 million people, 29 percent of the U.S. population, provide care for a chronically ill, disabled or aged family member or friend during any given year and spend an average of 20 hours per week providing care for their loved one. Thirty six percent of family caregivers care for a parent and 7 out of 10 caregivers are caring for loved ones over 50 years old.1

Providing care for a loved one is a noble, caring and sometimes necessary thing to do. It can bring great joy to give your time to someone who is rehabilitating after an accident, disabled, or suffering from a terminal illness or disease. Caregiving can also become a vicious cycle that may one day cause you to become the person receiving care from a loved one.

Once an overlooked category, caregiver depression has now been deemed a crisis by the National Alliance for Caregiving.  The health of the caregiver has garnered widespread attention over the past decade due to the discovery that a family caregiver is more likely to develop major depression than the rest of the population.

Many caregivers hold full-time jobs yet spend at least 20 hours a week caring for a loved one. Caregivers pay a financial price due to missing work or out-of-pocket expenses relating to the care they give. Hence, caregivers find they have neither the time nor the money to seek adequate care for themselves. Many report not practicing healthy eating habits or exercising on a regular basis. Caregivers become isolated because they have no time or energy left over after caring for someone else. These factors can cause psychological distress, affecting the ability to provide proper care for another. When caregivers become depressed, they find it hard to perform duties such as cooking, cleaning and remembering to give medication on a timely basis.

Caregivers themselves are sometimes unaware they are clinically depressed. Feelings of sadness and stress are viewed as being natural in the course of watching someone you love suffer or deteriorate. Balancing caregiving with their own lives – raising families, working and maintaining their own households and expenses – compounds anxiety.  More often than not, caregivers place their needs last, increasing the chances of negatively affecting their health.  

In the past, the greatest barrier caregivers faced in getting help was that their depression was often not diagnosed and equally under-treated. However, greater awareness over the years has caused doctors and health institutions to research causes, treatments, and most importantly – prevention – of depression in caregivers. Of special note in the area of prevention is the recommendation to seek respite care…having family or community members give caregivers breaks from caregiving responsibilities. In-home care companies, such as Comfort Keepers®, provide respite services tailored to meet the needs of both the caregiver and the special person needing care. Comfort Keepers can be hired to do things such as laundry and light housekeeping, or as daily companions for those in need of constant care.

It is essential for caregivers to become well-educated and proactive in recognizing and fighting depression. Caregivers should follow nutritious diets, exercise regularly and make time for socializing. Learning to share feelings with family, friends and doctors is a big step towards maintaining a healthy balance in caregivers’ lives. Asking for and accepting help from others is crucial. Because, in order to give the gift of time, the most important thing caregivers can do is to take care of themselves first.  

1Caregiving in the United States; National Alliance for Caregiving in collaboration with AARP; November 2009

 

 




Finding Trusted Support for Caregivers

Posted on Thursday, November 10th, 2011 at 4:17 pm and filed under Caregiving, Caregiving Support, Family Caregiving

There are over 50 million informal caregivers in the United States who provide care for someone 20 years or older who is ill or disabled.[1]  According to the Family Caregiver Alliance, a caregiver is generally defined as “anyone who provides assistance to someone else who is, in some degree, incapacitated and needs help.  While the definition of a caregiver is simple, its meaning is broad and can affect every facet of the caregiver’s life. 

Levels of caring depend on the need of the care recipient, and can be as simple as running occasional errands or as complex as assisting the loved one in eating, bathing and other personal acts of daily living.  The complexities of being a caregiver may also include dealing with attorneys and estate planning, perhaps actually planning the last phases of someone’s final years – to speaking with doctors and other health care providers to be fully informed and able to assist in making decisions regarding the care of a loved one. 

Many caregivers have their own households, families, and jobs and balancing these responsibilities is stressful.  Caregivers often become depressed and isolated, which can lead to their own poor health and inability to care for others.[2]     Caregiving can become a daunting task, but the good news is there are many local and national resources available to guide caregivers through virtually every aspect they might encounter, including care and support for themselves. 

Finding trustworthy sources may seem hard, but a great place to start is at a local level, with agencies such as Health and Human Service Departments, Area Agencies on Aging, Public Health, and Mental Health Departments, and medical boards affiliated with area hospitals.  Doctors and faith-based agencies have knowledge of reputable organizations such as support groups or psychologists and other counseling services.  It is also a good idea to contact the local chapter of a disease group that pertains to the care recipient (such as Alzheimer’s Association or Parkinson’s Foundation), and reach out to home health and respite care companies like Comfort Keepers® for advice and assistance.

[1] Family Caregiver Alliance – National Center on Caregiving.  Selected Caregiver Statistics.  Accessed 10/8/10 at http://www.caregiver.org/caregiver/jsp/content_node.jsp?nodeid=439.   

[2] National Family Caregivers Association; September 2010.




The Six Stages of a Caregiver’s Journey

Posted on Tuesday, November 8th, 2011 at 2:58 pm and filed under Caregiving, Family Caregiving

Caregivers travel a unique and winding road that is sometimes hard to understand unless you have travelled the same route yourself.  While it can bring great joy to be able to care for a loved one in need, the journey itself presents distinctive concerns and issues for both the caregiver and the care recipient.

Denise M. Brown, a Certified Caregiving Coach, has been working with caregivers since 1990 in an effort to help make their journeys in that realm meaningful.  She founded Caregiving.com in 1996 as a comprehensive resource that offers testimonials, resources, education, support groups, and facts regarding caregiving.  Denise also wrote a handbook called “The Caregiving Years, Six Stages to a Meaningful Journey.”  Part of this handbook defines six stages of caregiving Denise has recognized and organized to provide valuable advice and encouragement to those caring for loved ones. 

The following is a condensed version of Denise’s six steps.  In each segment of her handbook, Denise provides a keyword and purpose, along with options to consider  ensuring you stay on the right track and are able to not only survive your caregiving experience, but also cherish the time you are able to give.

Stage 1:  The Expectant Caregiver – In the near future, I may help an aging relative.  You and your loved one realize you may soon begin your caregiving role, and you both take steps to prepare for that process.  This is the time to get the care recipient’s affairs in order – visit with an attorney to set up necessary processes, consult with doctors, and discuss with your loved one the level of care he or she may need, depending on the situation.  Together, you prepare for every possible circumstance.

Stage 2:  The Freshman Caregiver – I am starting to help an aging relative.  As this stage evolves, it provides a sneak preview of the future.  You may begin providing meals and running errands at first.  At this time, you should fully educate yourself on all aspects of your loved one’s condition and decide how you can  help.   Join support groups that are specific to the illness with which you are dealing, or caregiving in general.  Support groups provide a needed outlet and help you learn how to  take care of yourself and your care recipient properly.

Stage 3:  The Entrenched Caregiver – I am helping.  You are firmly grounded in all aspects of giving care to a loved one, which plays a large part in defining who you are. Your feelings may be bittersweet – you are glad you can help, but wonder “why me?”   You are exhausted, physically and mentally.  During this stage, re-evaluation is critical, and the main focus should be  receiving help from others, like Comfort Keepers® respite care services.  Take breaks from responsibilities, so you can rejuvenate and continue on a healthy caregiving path.  Establish a routine for both you and your loved one and determine limits of care with which the two of you are comfortable.  Accept help from family and friends, or hire a respite care provider.  Lean heavily on support groups during this time.  Sharing your feelings with others will help maintain your focus, as well as your sanity.

Stage 4:  The Pragmatic Caregiver – I am still helping an aging relative.  You have been caregiving for quite some time and your purpose now is to look at yourself and ask, “Who am I?”  Allow yourself to forgive your care recipient for past grievances and find ways to add fun to your days by singing songs or other engaging activities and together finding humor in your situations.  If possible, involve your loved one in helping you determine your goals and dreams, and start thinking about your future!

Stage 5:  The Transitioning Caregiver – My role is changing.  Your caregiver duties are coming to an end, either because you can no longer continue in your role, possibly because the person you are caring for either needs a level of care you are unable to provide, or their remaining time is coming to an end.  Allow yourself to mourn and to reflect on the memories you have shared.  Openly discussing these feelings with your care recipient now will make performing the final stages of care easier for both of you. 

Stage 6:  The Godspeed Caregiver – My caregiving has ended.  Your days of caregiving have been over for several years now, and your life is ahead of you.  You may choose to become an advocate of caregiving, offering advice, writing about your experience, heading up support groups, or merely being the go-to person for other family and friends who may be embarking on caregiving themselves.  You are moving forward in your life now, and are able to look back on your caregiving years with happy thoughts and sweet memories of the one you cared for.

The caregiver’s journey is special, but full of emotional ups-and-downs.  Denise’s steps give you permission to experience caregiving at its worst, and also at its best.  Most of all, her words and advice let you know that you will get through it, and enjoy your life to its fullest after your caregiving days end.

For the complete handbook, please visit Denise’s website at www.caregiving.com.